How to Maintain Sanity
To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
- At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
- Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
- Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
- Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
- In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana.'
- Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
- Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk! and see how many looks you get.
- Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
- Sing Along At The Opera.
- Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
- Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
- When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
- When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
- Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'