- I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS
- I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.
- I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS
- I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
- I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION
- I've used Microsoft Office.
- I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE
- I pilfer office supplies.
- MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES
- I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
- I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK
- I blame others for my mistakes.
- I'M BALANCED AND CENTERED
- I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunch room.
- I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
- I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.
- I'M PERSONABLE
- I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
- I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL
- I carry a Day-Timer.
- MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS
- You're probably looking for someone more experienced.
- I AM ADAPTABLE
- I've changed jobs a lot.
- I AM ON THE GO
- I'm never at my desk.
- I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED
- The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
- I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING
- I'm a college drop-out.
- I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS
- I've been accused of sexual harassment.
- THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION
- Wait! Don't throw me away!
- I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON
- Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me "for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career."
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