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Press Any Key - Employee Performance Review

How to evaluate and rate your employees performance.

In The Office!
Name: Date:
Job Title: Supervisor: Date Hired:
Department: Last Rating:
Accuracy
Does crappy work and constantly screws off.
Doesn't give a crap if output is right or wrong.
Pretty Good, only an occasional screw up.
Does good work when not preoccupied with the opposite sex.
Quality of work
Doesn't do a damn thing all day long.
Works only if kicked in the butt very often.
Does a lot of work at review time.
Fastest sucker in the west.
Dependability
Complete incompetent
Needs frequent threats and reprimanding
Conscientious only if sex urge is satisfied.
Usually reliable at salary review time.
Really a reliable sucker!
Knowlege
Stupid jerk, doesn't know his/her ass from a hole in the ground.
Knows just enough to be dangerous.
Adequate brain power, but doesn't use it.
Knows most phases of the job.
Knows everything
Cooperation
Piss poor attitude, thinks he/she is always being dumped on.
Often ticks off co-workers. Not a team player.
Cooperative only if butt is kissed frequently.
Brown noser (In good standing).
Cooperative if not overlooked at review time.
Orderliness
Sloppy filthy dirty jerk.
Spits on desk and belches in cafeteria.
Sometimes cleans the desk and wipes down cafeteria tables.
Extremely neat and orderly.
Handling and Developing People (People Skills)
Constantly ticks off the troops.
Frequently gets the finger.
Occasionally gets told to screw off.
Only the janitors obey him/her.
Carries hatchet and gets excellent results.
The PAK Office version 1.0
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