Punsa, punny words and phrases, sometimes wise cracks, from puns!

From the clues below, can you find the punny wise-crack foolishness for which it refers?

1.	I have always turned down the job as a Historian because
2.	I couldn't get a job at a deli, because no matter how I sliced it
3.	I could have gotten a job at the Zoo feeding giraffes, but
4.	They wouldn't hire me at the health club because

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