When your fourth down and long, PUN!
- Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
- Two peanuts walk into a really rough bar, and one was a salted.
- A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra....
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
- "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
- Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly,"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
- Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
- I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
- A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
- I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
- Two termites walk into a bar. One asked, "Is the bar tender here."
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